Sunday, October 18, 2009

10.18.09

I feel SPLIT. I feel restless.
One self wants to go overseas again, when I finish in December.
The other self wants to put down some roots in the Northwest, closer to family.
When I was overseas a couple years ago I remember wanting to wait until I was married to go again, but with time one forgets the reasons you felt so strongly about some things.
I feel both selves so strongly.
In both I'm seeking community, God, adventure, relationship.
I need to pray about it.

I bought a coat last week. I feel guilty about it. I don't need it. I have coats, a couple of them. I'll probably take it back.
I'm tired of how self-focused school is. My fervor is waning.

I sound down-in-the-dumps, I'm not. Just contemplative.
Here's a nice picture to brighten the page:

3 comments:

TaraB said...

Tyler. I've been feeling a lot of the same things about school, where my focus is, where it should be, where I DON'T WANT it to be. We should talk sometime.

Nicholas said...

you packed a great deal of emotion into something very short. i hope your two selves can shake hands and agree on things soon.

Timari said...

Sorry I haven't been available for a bit. The family is still sick. It sounds like you have holy unrest. That's likely good. I remember some of the reasons you wanted to be married before you went again. When we talk I can share. I love you muchly.

ps: the word verification is 'tylingra'. I think you should name your first born that... ;D